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Empty your cup…yep it’s a thing
Did you get the memo? You actually can’t fill your own cup unless you empty some of the stuff OUT that’s not yours!
Have you ever been known to ignore the signs and end up with a broken something, stuck in bed and people having to look after you?
The signs were there right? – at first a whisper, then a tap on the shoulder, then a slap to the face and then BOOM you’re on your arse! (You get the idea).
Are your first priorities kids, home, partner, job and after all that if you get some of your needs met at the end of the day that’s a total bonus?
Is your cup so full with everyone else’s life that you can’t even imagine how you’re supposed to fill your own cup?
This notion of fill your cup and top yourself up with some pampering sounds nice but it’s really more of a bandaid, lets be honest.
It makes sense right?
Even mainstream advertising is picking up on the idea that if mum is “selfish” and looks after herself then she comes home happier and everyone wins.
It’s actually scientifically proven and hard to argue against.
If your day to day interactions are more draining than nourishing then somethings gotta give.
People, food, habits, activities. Some things just have gotta go, space needs to be made. This doesn’t mean you have to go on a crazy culling rampage.
When it comes to emptying people from your cup this can be an uncomfortable time, having a close circle of trusted friends and professionals around you who you can run things by before you make big decisions is such a blessing.
Emptying your cup can also be quite seamless and graceful because you know the time has come, you are standing in your integrity and you have your own back. You are armed with compassion. You are growing up and cleaning up.
I listened to a podcast the other day by Michaela Boehm where she explains that everyone has their own size of “cup” according to their own unique makeup and nervous system. Some call it constitution.
If you are interested in being an emotionally intelligent adult then it’s your job to work out how much your individual cup can hold. When things are cruising all is well, but like all humans on the planet we have our tough days and that’s when we are likely to tip over into break down or burn out.
The message gets pretty loud. Without room in our cups we end up frazzled and overwhelmed. Sound familiar? Notice any pattern that coincides with your moon cycle?
Back to our cups! Here’s an example of how your cup works and how you could feel more empowered around it:
Say you know you have to do a big drive into the city, to a place you’ve never been – you know that you’re probably going to be a bit nervous and your stress levels will naturally go up. So to offset this you make sure your bag is packed the night before, you know what you are going to wear and you’ve got some snacks and water, you’re prepared to go in the morning, so you aren’t rushing around and feeling stressed before you even sit in the car. This is a prime example of your masculine looking after your feminine.
Your masculine takes care of the logistics of keeping you safe and your nervous system/feminine gets to chill for a bit. When you arrive fresh and centred at your destination you are showing up as your best balanced version.
You use what you have in your tool box to keep your cup from spilling or breaking and you set yourself up with a framework that supports you and your capacity. I see myself doing this for my son, my friendships and the people I work with…why not myself too?
If that means drinking more water and making my herbal supplements a non negotiable in my day then I don’t think that’s asking too much.
And if that isn’t enough to convince you if you have children, you know that your behaviour and how you treat yourself is what you are modelling to them.
They absorb that behaviour like osmosis…have you heard of mirror neurons, it’s a real thing!
You are the responsible adult who’s role it is to show the young ones how to love themselves and be accountable.
That’s been some pretty good motivation for me in the last few years..
I’m curious….what would it take for you to make Self Care a non negotiable?